Why Won’t My 5-Year-Old Listen in Class? A Real Talk on Public Parenting, Perfectionism, and Strong-Willed Kids

If you’ve ever sat in a tumbling class, a soccer game, a dance recital, or even a piano lesson—watching your child completely ignore the instructor while the other kids follow along—you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not a bad parent.

It happened to me just last night.

I was sitting in the viewing area with the other parents, quietly watching our 5-year-olds in tumbling class. Most of the girls were following directions—stretching when the coach asked, twirling their ribbons in sync, staying with the group.

Then there was my daughter.

She was lying in child’s pose while everyone else stretched.
She was doing forward rolls while the other kids were twirling.
At one point, a few of the girls stopped to watch her, distracted from what they were supposed to be doing.

And right on cue, that familiar shame-spiral showed up:

“You should be more consistent.”
“You say yes too much.”
“She’s not listening because you don’t follow through.”

Suddenly, I wasn’t watching my daughter anymore—I was watching myself.
Wondering what the coaches thought.
Wondering if the other parents were silently judging.
Wondering if this moment meant I was doing something wrong.

🧠 Sound familiar?

If you've ever searched:

• “My child won’t listen during lessons”

• “Why does my 5-year-old ignore instructions?”

• “What if my child is disruptive in class?”

• “Feeling judged when your kid misbehaves in public”

—this post is for you.

Because here’s the thing: perfectionism shows up in parenting fast—especially in public.
We feel like our child’s behavior is a reflection of us.
And when they’re not following directions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we’ve failed.

But that’s not true.

My daughter wasn’t trying to be disruptive. She was being five. She was curious, expressive, and totally in her own world. And I wasn’t failing—I was parenting a real child in a real moment.

💡 Parenting Takeaway:

You’re not raising a tiny performer. You’re raising a whole human.
One who’s learning—and one who needs grace, not perfection.
And so do you.

“Always Tired? How Perfectionism, Trauma, and Burnout Secretly Drain Your Energy”

You’re doing the “right things”—eating fairly well, trying to move your body, getting decent sleep.
So why do you still feel so drained?

If you’re constantly exhausted despite doing your best, the problem might not be your routine—it might be what’s happening underneath it.

As a therapist, dietitian, and coach, I often see clients caught in a cycle of burnout, perfectionism, and internal pressure. They’re not lazy or unmotivated—they’re tired from carrying too much for too long.

Emotional Exhaustion Isn’t Fixed by a Nap

Fatigue isn’t always physical.
You might be mentally and emotionally exhausted from:

• Constant self-monitoring

• Feeling like nothing you do is ever enough

• Fear of falling behind, failing, or being judged

This kind of pressure is often driven by perfectionistic parts—inner voices that push you to perform, achieve, and hold it all together. These parts usually formed as protection during earlier experiences where your safety, acceptance, or identity felt at risk.

Perfectionism and Trauma Feed Burnout

Burnout often stems from unresolved trauma and nervous system dysregulation. You might find yourself bouncing between:

• Overfunctioning (saying yes to everything, striving for control)

• Shutdown (numbness, procrastination, brain fog)

These aren’t personality flaws. They’re adaptive patterns your system learned to survive stress or instability.

When perfectionism is fueled by trauma, even small tasks can feel overwhelming—and rest doesn’t come easy. Your mind races, guilt creeps in, and your body stays tense, even when you try to relax.

What Actually Helps

1. Internal Curiosity
Start noticing the parts of you that feel pressured or frozen. Try asking, “What is this part afraid would happen if I didn’t push so hard?”

2. Redefine Enough
Drop the idea that perfection equals safety. Instead of aiming for 100%, ask, “What would a kind, doable step look like today?”

3. Practice Safe Rest
Rather than forcing rest, explore what feels safe and restorative to your system—like taking a pause, stepping outside, or checking in with your breath.

You’re Not Lazy—You’re Carrying Too Much

If this kind of exhaustion feels familiar, know this:
You don’t need more motivation. You need more compassion for the parts of you trying to survive.

Sustainable healing starts with understanding your system—and learning how to lead yourself with care instead of criticism.

Burnout, Perfectionism, and Body Image: When the Strong One Feels Exhausted

Are you a therapist, health professional, or high-achieving woman who’s always been “the strong one”? The one others turn to for support, answers, and steadiness?

But lately… you're tired. Emotionally drained. Spiritually disconnected. And silently wondering: What happened to me?

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to keep holding it all together by yourself.

As a licensed therapist and registered dietitian, I specialize in helping clinicians and high-functioning women heal from burnout, perfectionism, disordered eating, and deep spiritual exhaustion. Using evidence-based approaches like EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS), I walk alongside women who are ready to reconnect with themselves, their faith, and their freedom.

What I hear often in my practice is this:
🌀 “I feel like I’m running on empty, but I can’t stop.”
🌀 “I hate how much time I spend thinking about food or my body.”
🌀 “I show up for everyone else—but I feel so far from God… and from myself.”

These struggles aren’t flaws. They’re signs that parts of you—like the inner perfectionist or the people-pleaser—have been working overtime. And while those parts may have once helped you succeed, they may now be leading you away from wholeness.

The truth is: You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to keep hustling for your worth. And you’re not too far gone.

Healing is possible—even for the ones who are usually holding everyone else up.

If you’re a therapist or high-achieving woman in Indiana looking for IFS and EMDR-informed therapy that integrates your faith and your full humanity, I invite you to reach out. You can learn more about my work here or schedule a free 15-minute consultation here.

You deserve support too. Let this be the moment you say yes.

Tired of Your Inner Critic? Try This Surprising Approach for Real Relief

We all have one — the inner critic.

That familiar, harsh voice might sound something like:
“You said that? I can’t believe you just did that.”
“You’re such a failure.”
“You should’ve known better.”

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

For many of us, the inner critic is loud, relentless, and exhausting. It keeps a running commentary on everything we do — often leaving us feeling anxious, ashamed, or “not good enough.”

It’s tempting to fight it, ignore it, or tell it to just go away. But what if there was another way?

Here’s a practice rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy) and self-compassion:
Try thanking your inner critic.
Yes — you read that right.

Before you roll your eyes or click away, consider this: That inner critic has likely been with you for a long time. It’s working overtime to protect you — even if its methods are outdated or unhelpful.

🔍 Ask yourself:

• What is this critical part trying to do for me?

• Is it trying to push me to do better?

• Is it protecting me from being judged or hurt?

When you pause to acknowledge its good intentions, something powerful happens. That loud voice might start to soften.

You don’t have to agree with it or let it lead your life. But you can say,
"Thanks for working so hard to protect me. I see you."

This small shift — from resistance to curiosity — is the beginning of healing self-talk, emotional balance, and deeper inner peace.

Next time your critic shows up? Don’t shove it away. Greet it with gratitude. You might just notice it taking a much-needed break from its round-the-clock job.

Psalm 46:1 NLT – God Is My Refuge and Strength in Times of Trouble

When life feels overwhelming—whether it’s sleepless nights, business stress, parenting challenges, or painful grief—Psalm 46:1 (NLT) brings me back to center:
“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

This Bible verse is more than comforting—it’s a powerful truth to stand on. In a world full of uncertainty and pressure, God offers stability, peace, and strength. He is a firm foundation, even when everything around us feels like it’s falling apart.

As a Christian entrepreneur and parent, I know what it’s like to carry the emotional weight of running a business while trying to be present at home. The responsibilities pile up: managing finances, meeting deadlines, supporting your family, and trying to stay grounded in your faith. Add in the exhaustion of sleepless nights or the deep sadness of losing someone you love, and it can feel like too much to carry.

That’s why Psalm 46:1 is one of the best Bible verses for stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. It reminds us we’re not alone. God is not distant. He is near—and He is always ready to help.

How to Apply Psalm 46:1 When Life Feels Heavy:

1. During Sleepless Nights: Instead of spiraling with worry, recite Psalm 46:1 as a calming prayer. Let it replace racing thoughts and remind you of God’s constant care.

2. When Business or Parenting Feels Overwhelming: Start your day with this scripture. Ask God for strength, direction, and peace as you lead others and support your family.

3. When You're Grieving or Anxious: Meditate on this verse slowly. Let it be your anchor when emotions feel too big. God's presence is a safe place to grieve, to breathe, to simply be.

No matter what you’re facing, you don’t have to walk through it alone. God is your safe place, your strength, and your help in every storm.

Lean on Psalm 46:1—your firm foundation in hard times.

Balancing Life as a 40-Something Mom and Solo Mental Health Practice Owner

Being a mom in my 40s with a young child and running a solo mental health private practice is a life of joyful chaos. Mornings are packed with lunchboxes and school drop-offs, followed by client sessions, documentation, and the occasional puzzle on the living room floor. As an older mom and therapist, I’m constantly balancing the needs of my child with the responsibilities of being a business owner in the mental health field.

One of the biggest challenges? Energy management. Working moms in their 40s know that raising a young child while supporting clients through deep emotional work takes both physical and emotional stamina. While I may not have the same energy as some younger moms, I bring life experience, emotional resilience, and a strong sense of purpose to both motherhood and my practice.

Connecting with younger moms was a hurdle at first. Many of them are in a different life stage, and I sometimes felt out of place. But I’ve learned that shared parenting experiences—meltdowns, milestones, and everything in between—create common ground.

If you're a fellow older mom or therapist-mom, here are a few ways to feel more connected:

• Be curious and open—start conversations at school pickup or playdates.

• Focus on what unites you—your children.

• Create small communities—coffee chats, weekend outings, mom groups.

• Embrace your story—you bring value and wisdom to every table you're at.

Running a mental health business while raising a young child isn’t easy—but it’s incredibly meaningful. If you're navigating the same path, know this: your age is not a limitation. It’s a strength.

Rest Without Guilt: A Guide for Perfectionists

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, even when you're completely exhausted, you’re not alone. Perfectionists often carry an invisible pressure to do it all—to stay ahead, meet every expectation, and never let anyone down. The idea of slowing down can feel risky. What if you fall behind? What if someone thinks you’re lazy?

But here’s the truth: rest is not laziness. It’s what keeps you grounded and clear.

Why Rest Feels Hard for Perfectionists

For many high achievers, productivity has become a form of protection. You may feel that if you stop—even briefly—you’ll lose control, disappoint someone, or fall into chaos.

There’s a part of you that believes:

“If I’m not doing, I’m not enough.”

This belief often leads to overwork, burnout, and even procrastination. Ironically, the harder you push, the more your brain and body resist.

The Power of Intentional Rest

Rest isn’t just a break—it’s a reset. It helps you return to what Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls Self energy—the calm, confident part of you that leads with clarity instead of fear.

When you pause intentionally, you show your inner system that it’s safe to slow down. You teach your perfectionist part that rest won’t make everything fall apart—in fact, it helps you show up better.

3 Ways to Practice Guilt-Free Rest

1. Pause and Name the Parts
When you feel pressure to keep going, say:

“A part of me is afraid to rest, and another part of me really needs it.”
Just noticing both can help you reconnect with your center.

2. Schedule 10-Minute Mini-Rests
Block out short windows in your day to sit quietly, walk outside, or stretch. These “rest reps” build trust with your system over time.

3. Redefine Productivity
Write this on a sticky note:

“I am most productive when I am present, not just busy.”

You Are Not Lazy

Resting doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re listening.
You don’t have to earn your rest by doing everything perfectly.
You just have to honor your humanity.

Because when you rest on purpose, you lead your life from purpose.